She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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