In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
