Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
