took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
