I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dignity is for republicans.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
