How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
