love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
