hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Welp...herpes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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