i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
