so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize