She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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