If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
