I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
