just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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