yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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