That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
