Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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