he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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