...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
