I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
