so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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