Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize