sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
