i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
do nipples grow back?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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