R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
