Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize