I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
