he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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