So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
