i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
