He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
