Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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