We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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