Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
