thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
