idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
