He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
