Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
