actually, I'm a sock model
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
