it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize