I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
