Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
