I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He passed out mid-signature
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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