Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
