the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
