In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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