he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
