Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
