So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
