I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
