Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sorry about my life...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
