it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize