if you like me you must not know who I am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
