I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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