Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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