Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
