a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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