garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
