Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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