i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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