Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
