Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
