At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it because I queefed?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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