Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
