you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I party with great urgency now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
