she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
