I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
