It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
